Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Random Review #45: the movie "Idiocracy"

Directed by Mike Judge
Starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, and Dax Shepard
Release date: September 3, 2006 (direct-to-DVD)
Rated R

We are stupid. In the last two decades, people have been constantly dumbed down by various types of media. Most of the blame needs to be given to advertising, as this movie clearly states.
Luke Wilson plays Joe Bauers, an Army librarian that is average in every way. He is immediately picked as a male test-subject for an experiment the Army wants to conduct. The project entails him being frozen in a hyperbaric chamber for one year, alongside an average woman, Rita (Maya Rudolph), a hooker the Army picked up off of the street. The experiment goes awry, and the two of them end up being frozen until 2505. The future is bleak. There are mountains of garbage, people watch TV all day, clothing patterns consist of corporate logos, and the English language has devolved into swear words and street terms combined. Everyone is also near-retarded. Joe falls into the hands of Frito, a lawyer that watches a show called "OW! My Balls!" all day while eating pure butter.
Now, this may seem vaguely Futurama-ish, and it kind of is. They both are culture-shocked, Joe way more than Rita. They are soon manipulating the people, and Joe ends up falling into the hands of the President of the U.S., because he is the smartest man on the planet.
This movie was better than I expected, I won’t lie. Since it was direct-to-DVD, I had a general idea of it being extra shitty (even though I’ve had a good experience with DTDVDs before). The cast was funny, the script was alright, and there were plenty of visual gags. The storyline was interesting, and I’m surprised it developed in the way that it did. It wasn’t fantastic, but it wasn’t terrible.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Random Review #44: The comedy album "Werewolves and Lollipops" performed by Patton Oswalt

Holy shit, this is the best comedy album I've ever listened to. Patton Oswalt has been one of my favorite comedians for a few years now, ever since I saw him on "The Comedians of Comedy" tour documentary a while ago. A lot of you may know him as the voice of Remy in the Disney/Pixar movie "Ratatouille" that was released last year. Well, his comedy is raunchy and fucking hilarious. I love him so much that I can't even come up with enough adjectives to describe it. Now, I watch and listen to a lot of comedy, so this is pretty high praise. If you can get this album, do it. It's epic. I love how he rants on about everything over and over.
Also, if you watch the show "Lewis Black's Root of All Evil," you'll see him on it frequently. He's just as amazing on that as well.

Random Review #43: Kangaroo scrotum pouch

Yes, seriously. These are pouches made of kangaroo scrotum, shipped all the way from Austraila. I'm pretty grossed out by this. The website refers to them as "small romantic gifts with big sentimental value." As if I'm going to cherish the ballsack of a cute kangaroo. Poor guy never saw it coming.
Kangaroo scrotum pouches are made from the scrotum of male kangaroo, and it's said to be very lucky; all those in possession of one is assured of a long life, happiness and healthy children.

That kangaroo isn't going to have healthy children or a long life because you cut his goddamn nuts off! He isn't so lucky, either. It's like an Australian version of the rabbit's foot, but completely fucked up. Ugh. Is it weird that I want one now?

The website is located here ("scrotum gift shop"):
http://www.australiagift.com/scrotum_shop/scrotum.htm

Random Review #42: The album "If" by Mindless Self Indulgence

So for this review, I'm going to try something new and somewhat interesting. I'm going to listen to the entire album all the way through, and write about my first impression of every song. I figure this will be more entertaining than just droning on about songs that I like. I'd reccomend finding your own download of it, so you can listen as you read along. There is a link to mine at the bottom, but I'm not sure how much longer it'll be up. Oh, and please let me know if you think I should do album reviews like this in the future.

New York-based industrial hip-hop band Mindless Self Indulgence (MSI) is one of the most interesting bands I've ever come across. They mix odd beeping noises, metal-sounding instruments, and lead singer Little Jimmy Urine's fast-talking falsetto voice to make a sound like no other. They've been one of my favorites for a few years now, and I was lucky enough to come across this leaked album that isn't out until Tuesday.

Track 1-"Never Wanted to Dance": Oooh, I like the opening song. It gets you interested in the album, just like "Shut Me Up" did on the last one. I love the bass drum beat in the background. Ah, Jimmy is doing his classic falsetto and fast speaking bit. I wonder if that's a drum machine? The guitar riff vaugely reminds me of Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out." Weird. I like it, though.

Track 2-"Evening Wear": He sounds like he is trying to make his voice go deeper than it should. I love the drum machine on this one. "I've dressed myself in fucking lies" is a nifty lyric. Now he's talking about losing innocence. Word up, Jimmy Urine, word up.

Track 3-"Lights Out": Woah. This is weird for them. Sounds almost like industrial synth-punk. Are those violins I hear "plinking" in the background? Once again, weird for them. And clapping? Shit. It's about as far from themselves they can get, but it's still MSI-ish.

Track 4-"Prescription": Oh, a song about meds. "Over the counter, fill the prescription." I wonder if when he says "I'm the doctor, I'm the patient" if he's referring to himself in both instances, implying that he self-medicates? And now he's talking about doing drugs before the show. He doesn't need them, then he does. That's classic addict behavior.

Track 5-"Issues": Interesting noises in the opening. Kissy mouth-popping. I don't really like this so far. I don't like how every sentence ends in "uhhhh." Ha! "Excuse me, do you want to screw? I'm so amazing in the sack." I love that line, to be honest. Nice synth solo too. With a Vocoder! This is a prime example of how some songs start out terrible, but end pretty decently.

Track 6-"Get It Up": Another song about drugs, from the sound of it. Shocking! He wants to make babies, you horny, and money, apparently. He can't get it up. Erectile dysfunction? Hell yes! That spoken word thing in the middle of the song is fucking epic. He goes: "Oh, Jesus, ha. I-I've never had this problem before it's just uh...hold on a second, give it a minute. Just give it a minute, give it a minute, alright? Uh, do something sexy! I don't care, do something sexy! Whatever you do, don't talk about your fucking boyfriend while we're having sex, how about that?!" Holy shit. I love that part. Now he's talking about it being the girl's fault, not his. Definitely funny.

Track 7-"Revenge": What the hell is this? Cheerleading? Woah. I like that segway, with all the clapping and what not. It was kinda boring though, and repeated itself too much.

Track 8-"Animal": If I remember correctly, this is the first video/single. I don't really like it all that much so far. I mean, it's alright, but it doesn't blow me away as a single. I DO like the ending noises though.

Track 9-"Mastermind": I like the opening so far. This sounds familiar though, and I'm not really sure why. Maybe I listened to it without realizing it? The chorus sounds really really really really familar. Deja vu for sure. This is one of the most hip-hop songs I've ever heard by them. It even has beatboxing.

Track 10-"On It": This album is so much more techno-y than anything they've ever released. I really like this song. Fast-paced and cool-sounding. The background drum beat sounds like something out of "Stomp." I love this song.

Track 11-"Pay For It": Piano opening. Not MSI-ish. I'm not complaining, but still. "I don't want you to hate me, I want you to want to hate me." Fucking amazing quote. He sure does swear a lot in this song. Ugh, he just changed the quote to "date me" in the last part. Eh.

Track 12-"Due": The beat seems like it's too sluggish, then it speeds up. Kind of a cool effect. He makes a lot of noises on this album, like the "dadadadadadas" on this song. You know, things to the beat that aren't real words. The guitar is tuned funny too.

Track 13-"Money": Whaaaat the hell? Whistling? Rock-ish guitar? Clapping? I was almost hoping this would be a cover of the Pink Floyd song, like how they covered "Tom Sawyer" by Rush on the last album. "Mon-nayyy!" That's cute.

Track 14-"Bomb This Track": Hell yes! Old school-sounding MSI. I love it when you can hardly understand what he's saying because he's talking so fast. It makes it a challenge, almost like a game. I think it's cool when they break the "fourth wall" (wiki it) and mention the song that they are currently singing; like how he says to "bomb this track."

Track 15-"Mark David Chapman": It's interesting that an MSI song would be named after John Lennon's killer. I guess they did have a song named "Harry Truman," so whatever. The opening almost sounds music-box-y. I like the bass line though. Spanish? Weird. Jimmy speaks Spanish on some songs, so I guess it's okay. Lots of voice samples in this song. Well, three so far. I enjoy this song. More fucking Spanish. Woah, the vocorder says "Mark Chap-man." That bit about Hitler is cool. And it now sounds like 18th-century British music. "Reginald, release the hounds." It ends on birds chirping. What a strange song.

Overall: I liked it. Not their best album, but definitely a good one. I might buy the deluxe edition with Jhonen Vasquez art and a DVD. The British version has 5 extra songs, which is bullshit. Ugh. Hate it when they do that. I'll have to download them.


You can stream the entire album from their Myspace page, located here:
http://www.myspace.com/mindlessselfindulgence

Friday, April 25, 2008

Random Review #41: The album "Armchair Apocrypha" by Andrew Bird

I like Andrew Bird quite a bit now. I know this is somewhat hasty to say, considering this is the only full album I've ever actually listened to by him, but if all of his other albums are like this, I definitely adore him. This Chicagoan singer/songwriter's newest album debuted at number 76 on the Billboard top 200 when it was released in March of 2007.
He combines folk music, 60's-style rock, and classical music, and it sounds fantastic. I love the way his voice flows on tracks like "Herectics" and "Imitosis." He sings softly most of the time, and it is all vaugely Ben Kweller-ish, but I still appreciate it nonetheless. The lyrics are always charming, too. For instance, on the track "Dark Matter," Bird sings about throwing away all of his "action toys" because he became obsessed with the board game Operation. Needless to say, after hearing this, I want to download all of his other albums. Yes, it's that good. I'm definitely a new fan.
Interesting to note: Bird is a former member of the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

Songs to download: "Imitosis," "Plasticities," and "Dark Matter."

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Random Review #40: The webcomic "Powerup Comics"

Worst.
Webcomic.
Ever.

This is one of the few things that if you told me you actually liked it, I'd think you were either crazy or retarded. This is the most unfunny piece of shit I've ever seen. I seriously think the creators are so terrible that it makes the comic hilarious. It's fucking horrible, and it's part of the cancer that is killing the internet. I'm actually mad that something like this exists, to be honest.

Powerup Comics is located here, but only read it if you want to feel better about yourself:
http://www.drunkduck.com/Powerup_Comics/

Monday, April 21, 2008

Blanketed Random Reviews #31-#39: Webcomics

So I decided that instead of doing a bunch of littler posts that would all fit under the same blanket, I'd just make them into one large, fun update. The first one: webcomics. Now everyone knows webcomics are hit-or-miss, and I'm here to tell you about the hits. As always, click on the pictures to enlarge.

RR #31: Toothpaste For Dinner

The originator, in my case. This dude (Drew) is the one that welcomed me warmly into the world of webcomics, and he has remained one of my favorites for a long time. His jokes are sometimes aimed at specific demograpics, but still funny and relatable nonetheless.
Toothpaste For Dinner is located here (updated daily):
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/
Also, this is Drew's fantastic sketch comedy show, Roller Chester (no longer updated):
http://rollerchester.com/


RR #32: Natalie Dee This is created and run by Drew's wife, Natalie Dee. She does one-panel gags involving cute, colorful drawings. I like them, but a few every now and then seem to be personal jokes. I'm not saying they are unfunny, just slightly difficult to relate to. They are still charming, though.
Natalie Dee is located here (updated daily):
http://nataliedee.com/


RR #33: Married to the Sea This is the collaboration between Drew and Natalie Dee. They take old pictures from what I'm assuming are medical textbooks, history books, and old art books, and add goofy captions to them. This is hands down the most brilliant webcomic out there, if I do say so myself. The jokes are amazing.
Married to the Sea is located here (updated daily):
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/


RR #34: Where Are the Dogs Humping?
Another collaboration between Drew and Natalie, this one takes real, odd pictures and adds hilarious thoughts and what-not to the bottom. I wish this one was updated more, to be honest.
Where Are the Dogs Humping is located here (updated sporadically):
http://wherearethedogshumping.com/


RR #35: Subnormality
I just discovered this comic the other day, and now I'm completely and totally hooked. I've gone through most of the archives, and haven't not (double-negative, much?) laughed at one yet. It mixes pop culture, historical, and other such references into a comic that is definitely one of the best I've discovered thus far.
Subnormality is located here (updated weekly):
http://www.viruscomix.com/subnormality.html


RR #36: Explosm/Cyanide and Happiness

This comic is done by a few different people (3-4 dudes, I think), and is usually moderately offensive. It focuses on sight gags and bad puns (especially lately). The earlier comics are waaaaay funnier. Most of the newer ones have been missing the target, or are just plain dumb. Either way, it's a decent webcomic.
Explosm/Cyanide and Happiness is located here (updated daily, click on the top right corner to see the comic):
http://explosm.net/


RR #37: VG Cats
This comic is nicely animated, and one of the most popular ones on the web. It's really, really old, too. This one centers around two cats, Leo and Aeris, and their "adventures" throughout videogames. It's really entertaining if you know anything about videogames at all. I also LOVE the facial expressions, seriously.
VG Cats is located here (updated "weekly"):


RR #38: Perry Bible Fellowship
This comic has been in the news lately. Apparently, Nicholas Gurewitch (the creator) released a book containing a lot of these comics, and it sold out on Amazon in days. I think they are well made, and incredibly funny. He apparently has retired from doing them though, which made me sad to hear.
Perry Bible Fellowship is located here (no longer updated):


RR#39: Truck Bearing Kibble
After I heard of Perry Bible Fellowship's demise, I found an article online relating that comic to this one. They are both similar, yes, but this one is slightly more offensive (and not afraid to "go there"). I definitely enjoy this one as much as PBF.
Truck Bearing Kibble is located here (updated weekly):


Sunday, April 20, 2008

Random Review #30: "Real-life" Jessica Rabbit

Again with this bullshit? My god, I'm getting sick of nearly vomiting every damn time I see these peoples' Photoshop creations. For those of you uneducated on late-80's film/cartoon mash-up movies, she is the title character's wife in 1988's epic "Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?"
But seriously, I'm starting to get sick of these pictures. I've heard rumors that their next one will be Stewie from Family Guy. Ugh.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Random Review #29: The YouTube video "Sweded Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back"

Video is located here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfF_vmRIeD4

For those of you that don't know what "sweded" means (definition taken from urbandictionary.com):
The summarized recreation of popular pop-culture films using limited budgets and a camcorder. The process is called sweding. Upon completion the film has been Sweded.

This minute-long video is fucking amazing. These dudes made this to enter the "Empire in 60 seconds" contest, as explained on the video's page.
Due to the nature of this short, lots of footage remains on the cutting room floor ( so to speak ) So expect a longer version soon (ish)
I can't wait to see the final one. There is nothing I don't like about this. Borat Fett, "pew pew" blaster noises, shitty animation, and crappy acting. It has it all. Definitely one of the best sweded videos I've ever seen. It really makes me want to go out and make a few of these. I'd probably ruin the concept though.

Original article (where I stole the picture from):

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Random Review #28: "The Incredible Hulk" poster

The Hulk/Bruce Banner both apparently have a soft-spot for denim. And apparently the Hulk plays with toy tanks. Due to the placement of the pockets on the Hulk's ass, I'd say his pants must have a pretty heavy tear down the butt. That's just me though.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Random Review #27: The movie "Persepolis"

Directed by Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
Starring (the voices of) Kirsten Dunst, Sean Penn, Iggy Pop, Gena Rowlands, Catherine Deneuve, Danielle Darrieux
Release date: December 22, 2007 (but playing at many places now)
Rated PG-13
Running time: 95 minutes

In recent years, conventional animation has been dying. With Disney's decision to no longer make anything other than live-action and computer animated movies by 2012, this "death" has nearly been cemented. That being said, it is incredibly refreshing to see a film like this come along. The animation style is very fluid and neat, and it keeps you interested throughout the entire film. The animation was created using a computer, but it still feels old-world-ish. It's charming, to be honest. I definitely hope this becomes a standard in animation.
This movie is based on the graphic novel fof the same name by Marjane Satrapi, whose early life this is based on (she also wrote the screenplay and co-directed). It follows her as a child, growing up in Iran in the mid-1970's during the end of the dictator Shah's rule. After this dictator died, most Iranians started a revolution; something that is completely against the law there. One of the people in this revolution is Marjane's communist uncle, Anouche (suprisingly played by Iggy Pop in the English version). He is sent to prison for speaking out against the way the government handles "electing" a new dictator. Essentially, the people "vote" for the one person that the government decides to elect. 99.99% of the vote goes towards this single person; the last .01% are people that didn't vote. Clearly, this is unfair.
From here, we see Marjane grow up into a woman. She listens to the Bee Gees (later replaced by Iron Maiden), wears a jacket that says "PUNKS NOT DED," and neglects to wear her head scarf in the style the government demands. She grows up further, becoming a young adult and forming her own ideals while moving through Iran and Europe. She attends punk shows, makes friends, and becomes a beautiful young woman.
This movie was amazing. The story was easy to follow, the animation was fantastic, and the voice acting was top-notch. My only complaints about this are that it didn't really have a solid plot (other than showing her grow up), and the ending. It just...stopped. I hate it when movies do that.
Overall, this is a great movie. I highly reccomend it, especially if you have lost faith in the traditionally animated movie as of late.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Random Review #26: The Garfield randomizer

Located here:

This is pretty neat. I don't really think Garfield is funny (I did when I was younger; go figure), but this dude had an idea to randomly put three Garfield panels together. The results are usually pretty funny. I like how you can "lock" some, if you don't want to lose them. I just wish they would do this with other, funnier comics (like Get Fuzzy).
One of the good ones I made:

Personal Message #1: Sorry guys

Sorry I haven't really been updating as much as I used to. I've had some medical problems lately that have prevented me from doing so.
Well, that, and I'm working on a semi-secret project for another blog. I'll keep you all updated.

Expect a few extensive reviews by the end of the weekend. I have three planned so far.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Random Review #25: The movie "21"

Directed by Robert Luketic
Starring Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, Lawrence Fishburne
Release date: March 29, 2008
Rated PG-13
Running time: 123 minutes

Jim Sturgess is a good actor. I thought "Across the Universe" was a decent movie, and that he definitely added a lot to it. I think the same of him in this movie. Sturgess plays the role of Ben Campbell, an MIT student that will do anything to get $300,000 so that he can afford to go to Harvard Medical school. He is soon invited to a meeting where he learns that his statistics (I think) teacher (played well by Spacey) is running a card-counting ring involving four other students. He is initially sketchy about the operation, but eventually Ben joins the team. He learns their methods, and goes through all of their tests. Then they start going to Vegas, and winning. It all goes well until a loss prevention officer (Lawrence Fishburne) starts to notice Ben winning a lot of money.
I'm not going to say anymore, because I don't want to ruin it, but it was a decent flick. The acting was okay (I noticed that the Asian dude stole every scene he was in), the story was good, and the idea behind it wasn't completely far-fetched. I've read the book that this is based on (which is a true story), and not a whole lot changed. It was obviously modernized (the original story takes place in 1994), but the meat of the story is the same, in the sense that it was about teachers taking students to count cards in Vegas. Oh, and the added love story with Kate Bosworth wasn't in the original one. And everyone in the true story was Asian (go figure).
One of my complaints about this movie is that it was so damn long. Clocking in at 123 minutes, this is definitely one of those movies that you are required to take a piss after.
So essentially, this was entertaining. I enjoyed it, but it was too long.

Note: I really wish this was review #21. Ah well.
Other note: I started putting the movie information at the top with this one. I may expand this to other reviews as well.

Random Review #24: The troupe "Improv Everywhere"

These people are fucking brilliant. If you are an avid YouTube-er like myself, you've probably seen this group's videos floating around the interwebs. The premise is this: they take everyday situations and make them somewhat uncomfortable for people around them. It's kinda hard to explain, so I'll just post some examples. I haven't even seem all of this group's videos (they have close to 50), but these are my favorites of the ones I've seen. NOTE: Watch the video before you read what I write; so the joke isn't ruined.

The Food Court Musical
Located here (video is on the page, and it also has a YouTube link):
http://improveverywhere.com/2008/03/09/food-court-musical/
This is my favorite one out of all of them I've seen. The looks on the people's faces are priceless. The best part is when the security officer joins in. I was convinced he wasn't part of the act. I also enjoyed the fact that they went on afterwards as if nothing had happened. Pretty fantastic.

Frozen at Grand Central Station
Located here:
http://improveverywhere.com/2008/01/31/frozen-grand-central/
This is the first one that I saw from Improv Everywhere, and it is probably their most famous. To get 209 people (!) to freeze and unfreeze at the exact same time is definitely a feat. I love the part when the guy pokes one of the frozen people; and when the guy on the cart honks at them.

Fake Ben Folds
Located here:
http://improveverywhere.com/2006/11/19/ben-folds-fake/
If you know me, you know that I'm a pretty big Ben Folds fan. He's a spectacular singer, amazing piano player, and brilliant songwriter. But he also plays pranks on his fans all the time. These two pranks are brilliant. Be sure to read the entire story to appreciate the genius behind it all.

This troupe is definitely going places. They've spawned many impostors (if you look at the news on the front page, R.E.M. even ripped them off), but no group is as good as the original.


Website located here:
http://improveverywhere.com/

Monday, April 7, 2008

Random Review #23: The YouTube video "Mathematicious"

Since I can't seem to figure out how to embed YouTube videos on this damn Blogger, I'll just post the link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cAs1YBELmA
This video is brilliant. I hate Fergie (or at least her music, at the fact that she looks like the Muppet to the right), and this dude's lyrics are spot on. He seems to be pretty young, too. Maybe around 14-15. I have to say, this takes a certain amount of balls. I'm proud of this kid for doing this, for sure. I love all of the nerd references and horrid lip-synching. It makes the video.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Random Review #22: The lyrics to Menomena's "Gay A," off of the "Wet and Rusting EP"

These are the lyrics:
All my pathetic and small life
I made big steps with small strides
to fight what just feels right
Then I had a vision
Now I'm on a mission
to fix my condition
to fix me for good

Alright, so that didn't work quite
like I hoped that it might.
But look on the bright side
Now every week there's a scene
of new men just like me
And I can't help but wonder why
If I believe, I can't see my relief

And I can't help but wonder why
this cure I seek, if I believe
is temporary
And I can't help but wonder why
if I believe, I can't see my relief
And I can't help but wonder why
this cure I seek, if I believe
is temporary

All my pathetic and small life
I made big steps with small strides
to fight what just feels right
then I had a vision
now I'm on a mission
to fix my condition
to fix me for good


I love these lyrics so much. It is likely one of my favorite songs by one of the bands that is quicky becoming a favorite. There is just so much truth behind them, you know? The line "Now every week there's a scene/of new men just like me" is probably the best one in the entire song. It definitely shows that there is no longer any individuality among people.

In an interview with the blog "You Ain't No Picasso," lead singer Justin Harris said this about the song:

Now, just a fan sort of question here. I really love “Gay A” off the “Wet and Rusting” EP and was wondering if there’s any connection between it and Radiohead’s“Kid A.”

[Laughs] No. There’s no meaning in relation to “Kid A.” It has no personal meaning to any of us in the band. A friend of mine went to one of those… like, places wherethey didn’t want to be gay any more.

Like a religious camp?

Yeah. Like one of those where they didn’t want to be a part of the gay lifestyle any more. It’s based on my misconception about what that was. I was under the assumption that you go to these places to not be gay anymore, but that’s totally not what it is. It’s just for people who don’t want to be in the gay lifestyle. You can’t really can’t stop being gay. But the point isn’t to rid you of your gayness, but just to help you if you don’t want to be a part of that lifestyle.

In my opinion, the real meaning of the lyrics make the song a whole lot better.

The above interview is located here:
http://www.youaintnopicasso.com/2008/02/04/an-interview-with-menomenas-justin-harris/#more-2899
And you can listen to the song on their Myspace page:
http://www.myspace.com/menomena

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Random Review #21: Photogenic food

Link:

Here is a German website I stumbled across that has different foods' advertising pictures sitting next to pictures of the real-life food. This is completely and totally fascinating and disgusting. You never really analyze things like this unless things are really bad.


A highlight (as always, click to enlarge):

Random Review #20: "Running The Numbers," a photography exibit by Christopher Jordan

We as humans, consume. It is the one thing that everyone does and will do for all of existence. But as Americans, humans waste. The proof is in photographer Christopher Jordan's masterpiece of an exibit, "Running the Numbers." Using everyday items and Photoshop, Jordan has created massive murals depicting how much "stuff" Americans waste.
The picture below is an example, which "depicts two million plastic beverage bottles, the number used in the US every five minutes" (click to enlarge photos):


After seeing all of these, I became immensely sad. You can hear the number all day long, but it isn't until you see it that you wrap your mind around the massive quantity.

Information on this project is located here:
http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php?id=7

Note: I haven't actually seen this exibit, just what he has online. Note that the pictures are around 6-7 feet high in most cases. Geez.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Random Review #19: Neuticles

Apparently the new thing sweeping the nation is to get fake testicles for your neutered pets. I'm not joking. The website claims:
"Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering."
So apparently "FDA medically-approved polypropylene" balls are a decent replacement for the real thing. Who knew? I wasn't aware that fake testicles would make me miss my real ones less. You know, if I were a dog or something.
Another gem of a quote from the website:
"Neuticles are available in four models: NeuticleOriginals (rigid firmness) NeuticleNatural (natural firmness) and Neuticles UltraPLUS and Neuticles UltraPLUS with Epididymis.. Each are crafted from FDA medically-approved (for human use) materials- replicating the animals testicle in size, shape, weight and feel."
"The texture and firmness of NeuticlesNatural were crafted based on the firmness of actual animal testicles."
I would hate to be the man that designed these. Feeling up animals all day. Sick, sick, sick.
They are available for cats, dogs, bulls, and horses so far.

Holy shit, the website has a store. You can get Neuticle t-shirts, visors, bathrobes, towels, and...
Fucking Neuticle earrings. What the fuck? Who wants fake animal testicles hanging from their ears? Is this some sort of joke? I'm fucking convinced this is a joke. You can get necklaces too?! AND keychains? This seriously can't be real. No way.

The website is located here:

Random Review #18: The webcomic "Electric Retard"

Located here (NOT SAFE FOR WORK/SCHOOL):
http://www.electricretard.com/

This comic is probably one of the most fucked up things I've ever seen, and I've sat through NEDM and BME Pain Olympics. This dude is messed up in the head, seriously. I laugh really hard at it though. I just wish he'd update regularly.
Apparently he's banned in Germany because of the Hitler comics he's made. I think this speaks measures as to how much Germany can't admit they made a mistake 50 years ago. Boo hoo.
I really want to get one of the shirts.

Random Review #17: A picture of Max Bemis and an Olsen twin

He looks scared shitless to be standing next to her. She isn't wearing a bra, and her tits look saggy and gross. I love how his back is slightly arched away from her.

Random Review #16: The website "Eatbabies.com"

Located here:
http://eatbabies.com/

This is kinda funny, but a bit overplayed. I mean, it seems like this might have been a pretty funny small joke at one point in time, but they took it too far. Not in the tasteful-ness manner, but because it has SO MUCH CONTENT. I can't even begin to fathom how much time the people involved with this site put into it.
Some of the shirts are lame. They look like clip art from Microsoft Word. The fan art section sucks more balls than a Taiwanese prostitute, mostly because it tries too hard. Oh, and the recipes section is just sad.
Come to think of it, this website is shit.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Random Review #15: The stand-up comedy of Dan Mintz

The man above, Dan Mintz, is the unfunniest comic I've ever watched. I just got done watching his new "Comedy Central Presents" episode, and I chuckled twice (maybe).
He's one of those types of comedians that serves semi-raunchy one-liners in a monotonous voice to try to make them more funny. I was convinced that part of his act was pretending to be an extremely unfunny comedian, until I realized he was completely serious ten minutes into it. He literally just stands there and recites his lines; no laughing, weird voices, or other comedy must-haves. I'd reccomend avoiding watching any of his stand-up, but if you must, here is his website:
http://www.danmintz.com/

Whore-Out #2: Dr. Manhattan bulletin

I'm getting famous-er by the day.