Random Review #51: Indiana Jones desk set

This is an interesting one. With "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" out last Thursday, many companies are capitalizing on the older movies to sell products. This is a three-piece desk set that has treasures from the first three movies.

The fertility idol from the first movie doubles as a pen holder, and it looks pretty cool.

The Ark of the Covenant from the second movie is a business card holder, and it looks good as well.

I'm not entirely sure the average person would understand that this is the Holy Grail, but it goes with the others and is pretty neat nonetheless.

Random Review #50: The Incredible Edible Anus

Yes, seriously. These are Belgian chocolates that are shaped like assholes. I'm so thrown off by this, I can't even think of anything to type. I'm literally speechless. Why would someone possibly want to order these, other than as a gag gift? The site looks pretty legit, and has a classy URL (http://www.edibleanus.com/), but are they actually legit? I think so, with that foxy (I.E. Whorish) model eating a white one above. Someone order some for me, once they start selling them again. I'll let you know if they taste like shit or not (pun totally intended).

Click on the "Limited Edition" link to the left. Strangely, I want one.

Random Review #49: The movie "Iron Man"

Directed by John Favreau
Starring Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges
Release date: May 2, 2008
Rated PG-13

Being a semi-hardcore comic nerd, I've constantly been let down by Hollywood's lame attempts at bringing fantastic superheroes to the big screen (Daredevil, Elektra, Catwoman, Spider-Man 3, to name a few). But not with this movie. This is hands-down the most accurate representation of a superhero origin story I have ever seen. Of course, some parts were modernized, like Jarvis (Tony Stark's butler in the comics) being an interactive computer system, but still. The message remains the same.
Anyways, as a movie, it was also fantastic. The storyline was interesting and relatable, the script was witty and smart, and the acting and effects were fantastic. Robert Downey Jr. has definitely returned from that blockbuster hiatus he's been on lately. He plays the perfect Stark. He's witty, intelligent, and a douchebag, just like his comics counterpart.
I do have one complaint about this movie though. I don't think Stark spent enough time in the Mk II armor. If you think about it, the only times he was in it were when he was testing it, and during two fighting sequences. It probably added up to close to 20 minutes total. And for a movie with a 2-hour running time, this is disappointing.
So the bottom line is this: if they keep making movies like this, I'll keep loving them. Please, Marvel, stick to what fans like and have liked for years. Don't get flashy to get audiences to come see your movies. This is near perfect.

Personal Message #3: All apologies.

Sorry I haven't updated in ages. I've been busy, then I got in trouble, and blah blah blah.
Chances are, you don't care.

Anyways, I'll be updating regularly now.

Personal Message #2: 8 days!

It's been 8 days since I've updated, and I am sorry. I've been working on graduating high school lately. It's been consuming my free time and has been putting me in a crappy mood for the last few weeks. But hey, at least I'm graduating, right?

I plan on updating today or tomorrow if I can. I promise it'll be a somewhat long one, and a type of something that I haven't reviewed yet.

Random Review #48: The album "The Slip" by Nine Inch Nails

I'm not a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails like some people I know (Katie, lol), but I do appreciate them. I think lead singer Trent Reznor has fucking amazing ideas when it comes to getting the word out about his music, and is brilliant when it comes to making up games and puzzles for his fans to solve. You know, all of that, and the fact that they are the band that made industrial music famous. No biggie.
This new, 43-minute long studio album is Reznor's gift to his fans. It is now on NIN's website for free (just like Radiohead's "In Rainbows" was a few months ago). You can download it in many formats on the album's own website (http://dl.nin.com/theslip/signup), and it is definitely worth it. The album will be released in both CD and vinyl formats in June.

Track 1-“999,999”: Not much to say about this. Just a bunch of noise. Blah blah blah, intro track.

Track 2-“1,000,000”: Hoooo boy this has a nifty beat. I definitely like this song a lot so far. Holy hell. This is the kind of NIN I love. Whoa. I like how the music just stops near the end of the song, and then starts back up again. False endings in songs are fantastic. Every album ever needs at least one.

Track 3-“Letting You”: Kind of a techno-y beat. I like it. Trent is singing through that weird thing that makes it sound like his voice is coming out of an old transistor radio. Shocking. The drum machine sounds cool.

Track 4-“Discipline”: This album is shaping up to be fantastic. Catchy beats, cool synth riffs, and Reznor’s voice at its best. It definitely all has a NIN feel to it. The drums on this song remind me of the ones on “Survivalism.” He’s whispering, and then building his voice up, like always. I like it when he does that.

Track 5-“Echoplex”: Drum machine intro, followed by a careless-sounding guitar riff. How the hell does he come up with music this good, this fast? Like I said before, the guitar sounds carelessly thrown together, but in a good way. I hear a woman’s voice. Weird. It’s kinda starting to ramble on. Eh.

Track 6-“Head Down”: I like the drums on this one a lot. It sounds old, like it’s being played on an ancient vinyl record. His voice growls in this one, and I love it. He’s talking fast, and I can’t understand him. Wait, he slowed down. I’ve always wondered how he performs the a’capella parts with only his voice live. Does he have a recording? Does another band member sing it? I don’t know.

Track 7-“Lights in the Sky”: I don’t like this song so far. It starts off too slow. NIN was never very good at slow songs, in my opinion. He just doesn’t have the voice for it. He’s whispering behind a piano track. I can’t tell what he is saying. I didn’t like this song at all.

Track 8-“ Corona Radiata”: I didn’t even realize this song started until about 30 seconds into it. Hooray, random ominous noise! Thanks for wasting seven-and-a-half minutes of my life! Ugh.

Track 9-“The Four of Us are Dying”: This song title makes me wonder if he is referring to the band, or something else. Weird. For a slow-ish song, it isn’t bad. No lyrics yet, though. What is up with all of these instrumental tracks? I want me some vocals. The ending sounds sick though.

Track 10-“Demon Seed”: Ooooh, I like the opening. Fingers crossed that it isn’t instrumental only. Nope, he’s whispering, yet again. The instruments slowly get heavier-sounding, and his voice slowly gets louder. I like that effect. It starts off good, the middle is alright, and the end is amazing. Sounds like a decent song to me.

Overall: Probably one of the best NIN albums in the last ten years (I don't think it beats "With Teeth"). As you can tell, I only like the upbeat, fast-paced songs; not the slow, sappy, instrumental ones. Other than that, it's great.

Random Review #47: The song "Violet Hill" by Coldplay, off of their album "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends"

I have to admit, I've been liking Coldplay more and more lately. When I was growing up, my stepdad always referred to them as "dying whale music," (sometimes "humping whale") but now I realize that Chris Martin's voice is one of the best in modern music nowadays.
The world-famous Brits have "pulled a Radiohead" and are now offering their newest single, "Violet Hill" as a free download from their website. The album, "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends" isn't out until June 17, but if you enter your email address and ZIP code on their website, you will receive an email sending you to your own personal URL to download the single for free (until May 6).
The song itself is amazing. I've been aching for new Coldplay material for a few months now (since I became tired of their last album, X & Y), and my metaphorical pain has now been cured. This is the kind of single that makes you completely amped for the new album. The record company execs involved definitely knew what they were doing when they decided that this song was going to be the first single. It doesn't really seem to have radio playability though. Sure, it's extremely catchy (the bass drum and guitar are both killer), but I can't really picture it on the radio for some odd reason. Then again, I’ve always had trouble picturing them on the radio.
I do love Martin’s feelings about the song, though. He says that it reminds him of his childhood and that it has a "chalky, pastel feeling." I completely and totally agree with the second. It feels thrown together and jumbled, but in the best way possible.

Go to http://coldplay.com/ to download the single (click "Song" then enter all of the necessary information). Like I said earlier, it’s only up until tomorrow (May 6) at midnight though, so do it ASAP before you have to buy it on iTunes or find it by other, illegal means.

Random Review #46: the movie "Hot Rod"

Directed by Akiva Schaffer
Starring Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Will Arnett
Release date: November 27, 2007 (DVD)
Rated PG-13

I want to start this out by saying that I adore Andy Samberg. I think that he is one of the three to four people that can save Saturday Night Live from the unfunny depths that it has been in since the 90's. I did, however, despise this movie.
It stars Andy Samberg as the titular hero, Rod. Rod wants to be a successful stuntman like his father (who worked for Evel Knivel), but has failed almost every stunt he has tried. His "crew," composed of his half-brother Kevin (Jorma Taccone) and friends Rico (Danny McBride) and Dave (Bill Hader) helps him prepare and train for these stunts. He soon inducts Denise (Isla Fisher) his incredibly beautiful neighbor into the crew because he likes her. They basically get into some shenanigans, and Rod finds out that she has a douchebag lawyer boyfriend, Jonathan (Will Arnett, stealing every scene he's in). Rod is heartbroken, but soon discovers that his tough stepdad, Frank, whose respect he could never earn, needs a $50,000 heart-replacement surgery. Rod and his friends start a fundraiser so that he can pay for a benefit to make enough money for the operation, so that he can earn his respect by kicking his ass.
Obviously it goes on a bit farther than that, but it kinda goes downhill from there. The jokes are all overused and played-out, and I even noticed that they stole a gag from Family Guy (the "saying wh-at wh-ierd?" scene). I mean, I probably laughed four times during this movie. It just wasn't funny. It tried so hard, but didn't succeed. The jokes were just ridiculous and dumb. Most of the only funny parts involved Will Arnett's persona, Jonathan. He was such a stereotypical college-esque d-bag; it was fantastic.
I found myself wishing the movie was rated R, so that I at least could have hoped to see Isla Fisher's tits. It was that bad.